Week 5-d Struggling today, it’s not always smooth sailing!

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Since I imagine at some point, somebody is going to read this that is thinking of starting the MKMMA journey, I wanted to do a post about my personal struggles with the process.  Now these aren’t struggles that bring me to the point of wanting to quit the journey or even have a negative thought about it, but they are real struggles.  Questions, why’s, difficulties, and hard work.  These type of difficulties are always in play when we are working towards a better US, a better life, and a better vision!  Today specifically was hard for me.  I found myself feeling that my DMP wasn’t right when I have felt it was right on and was able to read it with the utmost integrity and enthusiasm and feeling.  A simple sentence that someone said nearly automatically through me into this negative arena where I wasn’t powerfully thinking and remembering only the bad.  It was the self-pity guy that was trying to come out.  The “old blueprint” as us MKMMA’rs call it.  Now I never thought that the me that I don’t want to be anymore was never going to try to overtake my journey…….no, but it happens ever so silently.  Then 3 hours later you “wake up” when your new thinking kicks in and says “wait a minute….that’s bullshit!  I don’t have to feel that way!”.  And even though the old blueprint silently reared it’s ugly head, it didn’t go away so silently or as easily.  Thus the epic struggle.  So I “DID IT NOW” and had a 7 minute sit and read my DMP.  That helped yes, but it’s still work.  It will be nice when the new blueprint is on auto LOL.

Now back to some real things, I just want to be totally real.

  • It’s doesn’t happen overnight. I have a tendency to want to act fast and with great gusto, yet this is part of our microwave society in me.  I am learning that I have to relax, realize this is a long term, life long journey, and trust that since I am taking action and doing the work that I am getting the outcome I desire!
  • Living with the question.  My old blueprint wants so bad to be right!  I want my DMP right, I want my PPN’s right, I want Mark to think I am right, I want to know that I am doing the work right, etc and so on!  Can you shout out, “RED PENCIL!!!! ”  This is not an easy thing to get over and it just goes back to relaxing about it, having mercy and love for myself, and trusting that I am doing what is necessary to succeed in this journey.  Sometimes you just have to have an unanswered question for awhile and I am accepting that…..and sitting on it.
  • No opinion withdrawal.  I think I am almost going through withdrawal from not sharing my opinion LOL.  Some people ask me if I am happy because I am being quite, but at this point in the “no opinion” process it is one of the best ways for me to deal with that challenge.
  • The approval itch is not scratched.  This has to deal with me wanting to be right.  My old blueprint is yearning for approval that I am doing a good job yet you don’t get that in MKMMA FOR A REASON!  I have to learn to approve of myself, approve of what I let into my thoughts, approve what I think about, approve my own PPN’s and DMP ultimately.  Hell, one of my PPN’s is autonomy so this is great for me but what I am saying is that it just isn’t always easy.
  • Acceptance is a process.  I am seeing that I have to accept that this is a journey/process, I have to accept myself right gosh darn where I am, and that I have to accept the help from the mastermind and from my new blueprint and God during my sit.  It is a balancing act of earnest desire to change and accepting yourself where you are at, not always a walk in the park.

Though the seas can get rough, I am all in and totally committed to the process.  I have grown so much in the last five weeks and I welcome the challenges.  I hope that this post can help you decide that though no journey worthwhile is easy, it is worth it.

Can anyone relate???? Leave a comment please. 🙂

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8 thoughts on “Week 5-d Struggling today, it’s not always smooth sailing!

  1. Jason Jason. I can soooooooooooooooooo relate! It’s no coincident that we have connected right now as we did in the Alliance and now I am reading your post. I too have to keep reminding myself that I am doing well and that This stuff won’t happen over night, AND, I don’t need to get approval from anyone, (no red pen). Thanks heaps for your post, you just never know who you might have an impact on, so with graceful gratitude, I thank you xxoo

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  2. Great post Jason, I can totally relate 🙂 My old blueprint came back with a vengeance this week and although I am also one of those who “want it now” am learning that it is a process and it will come in it’s own time. I look forward to following you on your journey.

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